So my chat cut out today, and I’m really sorry.  I have no idea if it was Internet or the server, but I decided I should probably go finish packing anyhow.  I woke up with the right side of my face swollen and a head ache, so I was too embarrassed and run down to do a sexy show.

I’m leaving for the Phoenix Forum tomorrow afternoon.  I’m going back and forth between dread and excitement.  I feel so ugly and sick today, but the trip has already been paid for.  Days like this make me want to disappear. I was in such a positive mood for a while there, but I think it’s because I forgot what I look like right now.  I’ll be so happy if I just look even 10% more “normal” soon.

I have photos I want to share from my Sister’s Birthday, but I have to upload them still.  Here’s what I ate last Sunday, when we had a family dinner party for my Sis.  3/4 lb burger with cheddar, onion, pickle, mayo, bacon, and sauteed mushrooms.  It was fucking amazing.

I still have to pack, and try to make myself look decent.  I’ll be gone for the weekend.

I got home about an hour ago, and I’m still thawing out.  It snowed yesterday and today.  It’s about 17 °F outside.  I’ve been avoiding the cold, but I really needed to get out.  So I ran a few errands and went thrifting.

There was a woman at St. Vincent De Paul who smelled like disinfectant and dead flowers.  Rubbing alcohol with sickly sweet undertones of synthetic floral fragrance.  I assume she bathes in gallons of cheap perfume.  She had leathery skin, a matted old leopard print coat, and her black eyeliner was running into her crows feet.  She was amusing, even if her smell made me nauseous.   The old lady who was coughing profusely, (I swear she was following me) and awkward preteen boy watching three televisions with shitty reception amongst broken furniture, they were kind of sad.  It was a bit too much gritty reality for one night.  I didn’t find much there, but I had pretty good luck at the other thrift store.  Found a few things for my walls.

So now I’m sitting at my desk with cold hands and feet, while my ferrets are rummaging through packages and biting at my clothes.  I also went to my PO box today.  I received two pairs of Sketcher Shape Ups.  I’m not sure if someone sent me two purposely, or if it was a mistake.  Either way, I’m very happy to have these shoes.  I’ve heard good things, and my Mom loves them.  Let me know who you are so I can thank you.

I might make chicken satay with peanut sauce and a salad tonight.  I can’t decide if I feel like cooking.  Obviously my vegetarian diet didn’t last long.  About four months.  I have no idea how I managed years before.  I guess I’m a different person.  Not sure if I mentioned it, but it made me gain weight.  I’m far too selfish to deal with that.  I look and feel my best when I eat fairly generous portions of lean meat and veggies.  The thought of Valentines Day is making me crave chocolate though.  I’m going to avoid it as long as possible, but I’m tempted to make these.

I first took a strong interest in cooking when I was in junior high, but I learned to bake faster than I learned to cook.  I started with easy stuff like cookies and cupcakes, then fancier layer cakes.  My first home made cake was a banana cake with cream cheese frosting.  Cakes with fruit are nice, because they’re difficult to screw up.  They always stay moist, soft, and delicious.

Soon I learned I could make things look pretty and taste delicious simply by dipping them in melted chocolate.  I went on a bit of a craze.  I’d dip fruit, cookies, add color, nuts, fillings, sprinkles, designs, lollipop sticks.  Baking and cooking is calming for me.  I like reading recipes, customizing things to suit my taste, making lists, shopping for the ingredients, chopping, measuring.  Even simple recipes are fun, especially when it’s something you can share or give as gifts.

So maybe I will make chocolate covered oreos and candies for Valentine’s Day.  I’ll give them away, but eat just one or two myself.  ^_^

I couldn’t resist getting my Sister some of these. I’ve never had them myself, because they aren’t all that common around here. They sure are super cute though!

Two days of feasting for Christmas.  Three days of cooking beforehand.

I made two kinds of fondue, lots of stuff to dip, tons of appetizers, BBQ and teriyaki wings.  I also made home made fries and fried crab wontons/rangoons.  They were pretty time consuming to make, so I took pictures of the prep work.  Sadly I didn’t get any pics of the finished fries. : \  They were so crispy and delicious!  I think they were gone five minutes after I served them, even though I used an entire bag of potatoes.  I fried both the fries and wontons in peanut oil.  Gave them a great flavor.  The fries were yummy with the cheese fondue also.

I peeled & cut the potatoes by hand, leaving the skins on the ends.

The potato sticks should be soaked for a while if you want your fries nice and crispy.  I soaked mine 24 hours in ice cold water.

The peels that clogged my garbage disposal. Not my brightest moment. Oops! >_<

I spent hours alone cleaning & picking shell out of the crab meat.

Wonton wrappers.

Crab filling, egg whites, wraps. The filling was crab meat, cream cheese, fresh lime juice, hot sauce, green onion, black pepper.

Tricky at first, but I got better as I folded 30 something wontons. Corn starch keeps them from sticking.

They were amazing. My Sister’s favorite.

Cheddar beer fondue

Munchies, fondue goodies, dijon garlic mayo.

Garlic cheese fondue

Spinach dip & sourdough

Mozzarella tomato & basil roll ups, salami.

For the main course, ribs, mac & cheese, seven layer salad, and fingerling potatoes.  I think I took these the second day.  Delicious left overs.  Needless to say, I’ve been eating nothing but salad since this glutton fest.  It was a wonderful Christmas.

Christmas was exhausting.  I don’t think I’ll offer to host another holiday dinner for a few years.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed spending time with my family.  Making them happy was all I wanted for Christmas, and I was successful.  I spent three days shopping, cooking, and cleaning non stop with very little sleep.  By the time Christmas dinner was over, I was passing out on the floor.

We watched 28 Days Later, Human Centipede, and Zombieland after dinner.  So appropriate for the birth of Christ.  I’ve been meaning to watch Human Centipede for a while now, but I slept through half of it.  My Sister stayed the night, and we went to my Grandma’s house the next day with the leftovers.  Did I mention I cooked way too much?

I have a ton of food pictures, but I’ll just post a few for now.   Thanks again to everyone who helped out, chipped in, and offered support this season.  You made Christmas wonderful for me and my family.  <3

My Christmas Tree, attacked by my pets a few times.

My Moms cookies & fudge, sangria.

So I’ve been busting my butt with regular exercise lately,  eating healthy, watching my calories & nutrition.  Finally, I’m seeing good results.  I’ve only lost a few lbs, but my waist is back down to 22″. (: I don’t want to come off as bragging, & hate talking numbers.  Weight & measurements shouldn’t be important.  It’s all about how you feel.  For the very first time I did this the right way, & I feel amazing.  Healthy diet & exercise is the only way to go. Weight loss fads never work out. Be good to your body, & your body will be good to you.  That simple.

I will be rewarding myself by eating whatever I want on Christmas, (with a vigorous work out to follow).  So expect a lot of yummy food pics next week.  My Mom & I spent several hours grocery shopping last Tuesday, & she’s been baking for weeks.  I’m making two kinds of cheese fondue with a variety of fresh veggies, home made fries, breads, soft pretzels, sausages, and fruit.  Also crab wontons, BBQ & teriyaki chicken wings, & spinach dip.  We’re having turkey, ribs, two kinds of fingerling potatoes with gorgonzola & bacon, parmesan & herbs, my Mom’s mac n’ cheese, & seven layer salad. That’s just off the top of my head.  It’s going to be an all day event.  A massive feast, movies, drinks.  I got my Dad beer, & we’re making sangria.  I’m really looking forward to everything, but I have so much to do! My place is a mess, I have to make space for a big table somewhere.  My family is pretty down right now with health & financial problems. I really want to give them a great holiday.

When I’m a good girl like I have been lately.  This is what breakfast looks like.  Two large eggs fried in Olivio, with flourless sprouted whole grain toast,  (a little more Olivio spread) & a good strong cup of coffee with a bit of non fat milk.  Filling , delicious,  full of protein & fiber.  I think I’ll have to eat even cleaner than this for a good week after Christmas, to cleanse away all the fatty foods and sugary desserts.  Ohhhh dessert! That’ll be a whole new blog entry.